HELP!!!!

I have finally sat down to rework some problem areas in one of my previous 12x12 drafts called "There's a Kid in my Bedroom." I am not a rhymer so I took the challenge of making this story a rhyming story. I wont know till it is over if this was a vastly huge mistake or something I can continue to work on and polish for submission one day. But right now I am stuck on one particular section and can use all the help I can get. Not to mention my little monster would appreciate it too. :) So here goes: I am looking for some rhyming engineering

I puff up my chest and stick out my snout.

“I’m little monster and I can’t sleep,

With all your bumping and thumping

You sound like a bighorn sheep.”

Kid pokes his big head from around his bed.

His body trembling and his eyes open wide,

“Who, who’s there?’ he asks with a squeak.

Kid’s not so scary with his bunny at his side.

"Listen Kid, I don't mind sharing my room with you
But if we are going to be roommates, lets get on thing [clear/straight/or any other suggestion]
No jumping or bumping or big scary noises
I need my sleep 'cause like you I am a growing [monster-neer/ rhymes with straight/or any other suggestion]

So what do you think? How can I fix this section. It's driving me CRAZY!!!!!!

Yay! March down and wondering about PB word counts

Yay! Finished my March draft a bit early. Now I have plenty of time to revise and submit to my critique group, Cheryl, Irene, Sabrina, Jennifer and Cathy. *Waves* Hi ladies!!! Please check out these awesome ladies blogs. Cheryl and Irene. 


My inspiration for Milo and Otis Wins the Race came from a evening of baby-sitting for a friend. She knows my passion for writing and has always wanted me to write a story about her son, Milo. As we played on the floor with his collection of toys (race cars being one of them) this story popped in my head. It was not until days later that I actually wrote down the summary and weeks later (today) that I wrote out the first draft of the story. :) I have another Milo story in the works and hope it can make the march deadline as well!


So far, my stories have all ranged between 300 and 900 words. Is that reasonable? Are publishers pushing for shorter picture books or longer more developed picture books?

12x Feb draft completed!!!!

Yay!! I completed the first draft for February. It is called Little Fish though I am thinking of changing the title. Will wait and see once I send the story to my critique group and get feedback from them. My inspiration for the story came from Alison Hertz's Story Starter post #9 The Grass is Greener. Well, while the story of little fish takes place in water and not much greenery in the text, I would imagine there being green on the pages :D as little fish travels in search of a place that is better than his current home. Now I'm off to get some reading done.

Happy Writing & Reading everyone!!!