You are now entering the world of my thoughts.

This blog is my diary of works in progress. The only way a writer can improve upon her skill is to practice, practice and practice some more. Here, in this place of quiet peace, I pen to paper my thoughts and creativity. Welcome to my world.

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Monday, October 17, 2011

Third Campaigner Challenge - The Seaside Encounter


Here is the Challenge:
Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post shouldshow:
  • that it’s morning, 
  • that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • that the MC (main character) is bored
  • that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise."   (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).

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The Seaside Encounter

Venatt tossed and turned waiting for dawn. It was still dark out and everyone was still asleep. She snuck out of her wastopaneer and crept along the coast listening to the soft splash and gurgle of the dense waves guiding her away from the expedition camp.

The air was fresh; the thick syrupy seawater was rather cool and refreshing between her toes and sweet too. But every once in a while she would get a whiff of something rancid. Tacise said the sunrise on Feshara was spectacular! He was often over dramatic but so far, everything he said about the uninhabited planet lived up to its name, “Sweet Paradise.” Everything was delectable, even the sand. Yep, she tasted it.

Venatt continued until she reached a grassy cliff facing the rising sun. She settled down, digging her toes into the dirt and grass. She took a deep breath. Her nose twitched, that rank smell again. A memory tugged at her. Something Tacise said just before she left the ship. A warning. "Be careful not to run into any..." Any what, she tried to remember. A glowing turquoise sun rose over the purple Fesharan Sea making it shimmer like a purple diamond.

A faint rustle behind her broke Venatt’s serene repose. She turned and saw a metallic onyx puddle forming and growing in size. A synbatec! Venatt tried to run but her feet were no longer standing in grass but a smaller similar dark shiny puddle. She looked in horror unable to scream for help, not that anyone could have heard her. She had hiked over four miles to reach the promontory. The large puddle danced to the harmonious splashing of the waves. Then it happened.

As the sun rose above the sea, a beautiful creature stood before her smiling. 
“Welcome!”
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If you liked my short story, please like it here I'm #21 :) Thank you!

24 comments:

Jess said...

Nice twist at the end!! Great job, I loved it!!

(I'm entry #5)

Christy Farmer said...

Good use of imagery :-)

Jen said...

I like this! Very, very creepy ending.
Mine is #25.

Kerri Cuev said...

Fantastic! You made the made up words blend right in. At least they were made up words this time LOL.

Joanna said...

You have some great imagery. I particularly like "thick, syrupy seawater" :)

K.T. Hanna said...

Nice and vivid. The words are barely noticeable even though they're made up.

Well done.

Heather said...

That ended completely unexpected, I loved it! I was drawn up into the serenity, intrigued by the world, and then sent for a ride on a great twist. Well done!

Carrie Butler said...

Twisty! I like it! :)

Susanna Leonard Hill said...

Wow! This is great! Well done!

kmckendry said...

I want to know what the black puddle stuff is, sounds scary! Good job using the words.

Alynza Smith said...

The images and scenery blended so well together. Nice job :) #28

Mel Fowler said...

That was really really good. I liked how your MC tasted the sand. And how everything is going great, when all of a sudden, something crazy happens. I would like to know who it is she saw and who was chasing her. Good Job.

MISH said...

Vivid and imaginative! Great job!
(Mine is no.#47)

yikici said...

Oooo -certainly was not expecting that. Nice!

bridgetstraub.com said...

I like the idea of a tourquise sun. Mine is #56

AveryMarsh said...

Ooo, sci-fi. I love the world you created, especially the turquoise sun and purple sea. Sounds gorgeous. Great use of the words, too.

David Powers King said...

Curious. What kind of creature? The senses really brought out the environment of your setting. Once again, great job! :)

Angela Cothran said...

Scary, twisty, cool! Great job.

Ms Saba (aka Teacher007.5) said...

Thanks everyone for your comments. For those of you who left a number, thanks! Will check you out soon. For the rest, I will try to find yours if you have participated. :)

Fairview said...

nice job with the world building and your descriptions. especially like the turquoise sun! great imagery

Maeve Frazier said...

Love it. Twisted and creepy! Nice job.

Medeia Sharif said...

I love the setting. Great writing. I'll go and vote.

Lady Gwen said...

Loved the build-up! Great entry - very original. I'm #65.

Brinda said...

I really like this. Great piece!


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